April hike

at every turn into the hike I'd hope you were there waiting for me, or hiding to make it a surprise. you had gone ahead claiming we had different paces - you faster, I slower. And the distance increased, and increased and although initially I was able to see you, at one point I wouldn't see you anymore, but I hoped you were somehow waiting for me. but you weren't, and with each turn I'd grow isolated and lonely, and the image of my prior years with very same moments of loneliness came back powerful, and this time Dad was no longer there as the ultimate human being to love me forever unconditionally. this time it was just me, for real, married to a chimera.

Paterson, the movie by JJarmush

Paterson woke up half way when I had proclaimed that I'll have to write a movie with no "thank you" in it. Up to the awakening it was a test of political correctness, with everything working perfectly peaceful uninterrupted by no rude remark and racial relationships functioning like fiber optics. Then Marvin chews up the entire notebook of unremarkable poems and the movie is saved. In the end is the Japanese man resolving a particular, subtle fear of a typical writer and the movie is nailed into stardom. Din't you, Writer, wonder yourself if your entire work, good or bad, would get lost, would you write again? If that happens you must be approached by a Japanese man, I think woman would work too, this is about the culture Japanese people share, their values and attitudes in general, and if they give you a notebook, empty, ready to fill up with new writings, that's the sign you can start allover again. On the side, loving and creative, is the genuinely supportive wife who makes all sorts of artistic modifications to the house, understands him and makes no comment about what and where, bakes and sells cupcakes, saves all the torn pieces from the poems' notebook and even punishes Marvin by relocating him into the garage. Everyman's dream wife.

daddy (departed)

Where could you possibly be, Daddy, after you left your body, us...did you leave Earth too? Where are you sleeping, Daddy? Are you just in the ground, just in there in the soil?

dinner is served

And so once more, out of love and care, with full joy from my being, I have your dinner served. There are instructions to be followed. Look first on the printed sheet into the last paragraph on how to assemble the sandwich. The biscuit is unfortunately quite flat, and much attention is needed upon slicing it at its perfect half. In the tumbler there is spicy mayo that you will use to smother the base on which the mighty chicken will rest. The tower construction continues with a bit of slaw followed by the roof represented by the other half of the very unfortunate thin biscuit. You may spread spicy mayo on the roof as well, but overall this can be done flawlessly if your thinking of me is filled with love. I will patiently wait for the aftermath of your dinner, confident it will lift that thinking of me to levels of desire matched only by...one and only ONE merengue!? :) I kiss you with all my love from wherever in Los Angeles I will be at the time of your feast.

what I love most in terms of city living

The coziness of nature combined with city: amidst buildings, in between blocks, sometimes appearing to conquer the city, other times being so insufficient, little round squares, broken pavements with roots coming out, parked sedans and moving bicycles, trams, small lots and large lots, with trees and trees and bushes galore...

random 3

Live on Earth. Otherwise leave Earth and meet whatever God quickly, don't prolong the agony of staying stupid here on Earth. - to all those believing in hypothetical and disbelieving in real things.

random 2

Ah, the highly intellectual liberals, the people wearing gloves when they wash their face.

random 1

This is what you are, this is the mind you have. It's that mind that creates a crap or learns to love people.

April 4, 5, 6 in '06

These are the days of The Sleeping Bear Dunes, for a long time after the greatest days of my life. How come? Hard to explain, it was just a simple trip after all. April opened the door for new things to do. This was great because change, diversity, was always something "blamed" for extending the life of relationships. Here the change derived from the final, never thought possible, ending of the winter. But the winter had been wonderful with sittings inside the beautiful bungalow watching the snow, listening good music, one into the other by means of long sleeps and sex marathons because you couldn't do much else. See? Pretty difficult to say a change was needed when it wasn't. Anyway, it was ending (the devil winter) when everybody(those who didn't dare to sleep past midday or have sex marathons) believed it was no longer possible. And very early in the beginning of April, without a particular reason, without even being warm enough to penetrate the nature on foot, we decided to explore Michigan. Of all Michigan we set for the shores and beaches of Lake Michigan exactly because the climate did not allow people nearby but the solitude of cold was more interesting to us. It was also something else, it was us in nature just the second time (first had been the one day trip to Point Pelee, Canada). There in the dunes of the Sleeping Bear the statement "the greatest days of my life" would be forged. Precisely? In the beautiful sand and walk through the dunes to the actual shore (about a couple hours). Within the sky that had a perfect ratio blue/gray allowing Sun to reach us or turn overcast boosting the romantic emotions. But I think it's after all that that I declared the importance of those times. Definitely afterwards. After we ceased to be a couple.